Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin

I heard about this book on the December 27, 2022 episode of the Book Riot podcast. It sounded interesting, the title is cheeky, and I liked the cover so I requested it from NetGalley.

Lakshmin has an interesting background having been the doctor for a cult. Now, preferring to teach real self-care, Lakshmin boils it down to embracing internal change and cultivating dialectical thinking (acknowledging that two seemingly opposite truths can occur at the same time.)  And, of course, looking at what self care is, and isn't. Because, while spa days and perfect nails might seem like easy fixes, they often cause even more stress costing women both time and money. And heaven forbid mothers do anything like that. Judgment comes down even harder.

Self-care has so often been seen as a noun but Lakshmin offers the advice that it should be a verb. And, while hedonic well-being (spas, retreats, etc.) is good some of the time, what is really going to make us feel good is eduaimonic well-being (focusing on having our actions be in line with our values and having a life that has purpose.) The latter form of well-being also means being able to make difficult decisions and to be able to say the word "no" when activities don't align with our values. It also means treating ourselves with compassion and learning more about ourselves and being able to tell yourself that you matter. And, taking steps toward real self-care might mean more work. And there might not be a clear finish line. 

I have read a lot of these suggestions before but the ones that I recognized are things that have worked (and are still working) for me. 

Four stars

This book comes out March 14, 2023

ARC kindly provided by Penguin Group Viking and NetGalley

Opinions are my own